I’m not really doing well right now.
Part of my nervous system is going haywire.
I started my week stuck in the middle of an argument. It was maybe traumatizing to me. I’m about done giving someone chances -they keep hurting me over and over again. I feel I shouldn’t be in this type of toxic environment. The situation is complicated though. (I let this slip to someone that I trust but I shut down)
Also, an incident happened at work yesterday and it may have made me stressed/brought up memories of my trauma.
I feel bad for the person that got hurt by another person. I wish it didn’t happen to them. We have to go on and pretend that it didn’t happen. I feel like I did that a lot in life-I pretend that things didn’t happen/bother me.
I have different ways of coping with things. I like focusing on my goals/good things I can work on. Keeping occupied helps me feel better.
I have stuff to do so I really need to get back on track. I’m thinking of self-medicating to help things temporarily. I don’t know what to do permanently yet. I have to get a better job first so I can get out on my own. It’s a long process though. I finally got some categories of jobs to look for though. I’m going to keep trying-eventually I will find something that will work better for me. Hopefully I can end up in a better environment in general my life would improve so much if I could do that. The right doors will open and I have to believe that.
